Last year when I turned xx, I thought it was the most ridiculous age to be. How did this happen? I ask myself. Oh "age is just a number" people say to which I have always replied, "Bullshit".
However, perhaps they have a point and if so, it doesn't matter what age you say you are, right? Besides which, I have a lot of experience telling lies about my age. When I was young I lied older, when I was older I lied younger, and eventually when asked I didn't lie, just said it's none of your f*&#ing business.
At one point I realized that The Boys were causing me problems in this regard, so I decided that they were not going to get older either. For awhile they were "21" and "22" and I decided they should stay that way. When birthdays came by I would cheerily wish them "Happy 21st birthday" (again and again). They would reply with rolling eyes, "Oh Mom". Then one day I was on a flight home to Manila from Bangkok and was sitting beside a Filipino lawyer who was in his cups and very chatty. "Do you have any children?" he asked. "How old are they?" "21 and 22", I replied with a straight face (as by this point I was actually believing it). "Oh", he observed, "You must have started late!"
Ouch. Busted.
So I am giving up freezing The Boys in time. Go ahead, get older, go nuts, guys. However on this, ahem, happy day, I have decided that getting older is not for me. Today is the day I am officially starting to go in reverse - backward in age. So Happy xx Birthday to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment